Losing Now for Yesterday

 

A lot has gone on the past eight months into 2022. With so many changes, I’ve struggled a lot and been thinking back to old memories – fun memories of the past. With memories, no matter how fun they were, it’s saddening when thinking those times are gone, a lot of those people are gone, and even some day the memories will be gone. I’ve started a memory journal (I’ll write more about this idea later) and I’ve been thinking of the past to help me with the stress of “now”. With the stress of now and wanting to escape the stress, the uncertainty, and confusion, thinking back to the past has made me even sadder. Even when re-living such memories, I’m losing today; a temporary fix. Instead of creating new memories from today (the present) and even the future, I’m thinking back of the past to relive something that is gone. I guess memories of bygone days bring back temporary happiness at times along with the eventual sadness, I have realized I need to focus on today and what happiness I can create today – not just for me, but for my wife and my five month old daughter. Even though I’ll keep the memory journal going, since I fear the day I lose my memory, I’m going to turn my focus on now instead of the past. As a history lover, this task will not be easy because we often learn from the past but then again, how can we create today if we focus on yesterday, last year, 1992? I’ll escape today when needed but I’ll focus more on the now to create new memories to remember in the future.